What's in a Name?

After reading about the origins and meanings behind Beowulf's name, I found this very interesting and began to do similar research into the meaning of my own name.  The origins of my first name, John, date back to Biblical times with the New Testament in the years of about 54 A.D.  My name in their terms means, "The grace or mercy of the Lord".  This name has this origin because John, one of Jesus's first disciples was the one who was sent down to earth for the sole purpose of spreading the word of God and mainly performed baptisms for citizens that wanted to be absolved of their sins and to start a new life in the eyes of Christ.  In the same tone, in Hebrew the name John means "Jehovah has been gracious, has shown favor",  John received this grace and favor because he was the one who baptized Jesus in the Jordan river.  After John had finished with the baptism it is said through scripture that the heavens opened up and God said, "Thou art my beloved Son, with thee I am well pleased".  So through this action although it is not specified in scripture, it can be inferred that John was receiving glorification for his actions, and for his service to God.  I do think that this name and its origins do define me because of how much of an impact Christ and my faith has on my everyday life, I am always striving to live in God's image.  So by having this name, as well as knowing who held it before me, I feel that I have some expectations that I want to live up to and be just as great as John the Baptist was.

When looking at Anna Quindlen's quote from her essay, I do strongly believe that every person does have two split identities, one stemming from isolation and the other from constant social interaction and engagement.  When looking at my individual personality one of the main problems that has come from this, has been my battle with my body image.  Since I normally workout alone and not with a group or partner not having that social reinforcement has a negative impact on my life.  In today's society we are constantly worrying about our personal appearance, trying to present the most attractive image of ourselves at all ours of the day.  So I think that this notion is applicable to my life because whenever I look in the mirror I am always judging myself based solely on my image.  Especially after getting home from the gym my image deteriorates as the effects of a hard workout begin to wear off I think to myself; biceps begin too small, not cut enough, quads are too small, completion isn't perfect, the list goes on and on.  I am always trying to be the most in shape I can be, but without that positive social reinforcement my life is affected negatively, making me feel more pressured since I am the harshest critic in my life.

Next when looking at the second personality as a member of a group or a member in a larger collective of society the easiest example that comes to mind is playing for the Millbrook varsity lacrosse team.  This is a prime example because as this is my fourth year of playing varsity lacrosse, I am constantly surrounded by individuals that understand me, and those that make me strive to perform to the best of my abilities.  While being on this team I was a captain last year on the team, this was a very big challenge for me since I was only a junior during that time.  The reason being a captain is so difficult is because I have some different beliefs than others on the team in regards to activities that they participate outside of the program.  As a captain your primary purpose is to make sure you as well as everyone on the team is upholding the highest image of Millbrook possible.  With that came a lot of increased stress and pressure because parents and referees came to you with problems and for you to resolve them.  But through this stress and pressure, I do think that it has made be a better person because I've learned more about responsibility and how to be a good leader as a result.